You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
The power of my boobs compel you
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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