doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
