Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
