Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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