your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
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