What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I touched a dick in church today
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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