PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
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