Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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