I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
