so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Randomize
