You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Randomize