Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize