White coat. Heels.
I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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