I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
