If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
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