You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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