so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
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