Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
The best revenge is premature balding
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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