she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
