Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
