He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
