Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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