So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
