We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Randomize