i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
