it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
