Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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