I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
