Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
