i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
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