make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
he's gonorrhea incarnate
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Randomize
