I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
