hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I'd cum for enchiladas.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
