And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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