We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
