Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
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