Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
