would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
You're a waste of cheezeits
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
