We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Randomize
