How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Randomize
