My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
