Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Randomize
