I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
