worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
PANTIES FOUND
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