I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize