I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize
