My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
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