belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I enjoy the company of your penis
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
