she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Randomize
