Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Randomize
