BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize