hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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