In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
