there's paper in my vomit.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
