I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
i think i just lost a toe
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
