so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
