rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
