You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
