Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Randomize
