I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
